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Posts Tagged ‘aging’

Fifty on Fifty

Having time to smell more flowers with the passing years is one blessing of aging. — Photo by Pat Bean

“I don’t want to sound like a Hallmark card, but to be able to wake up each day with food and shelter, that alone is good. Forget aging and the fact that my butt is becoming a little more familiar with my knees than my tailbone, If you are six feet above ground, it’s a good day. So, give me more.” – Faith Hill

Back when I was 60

In the spring of 1999, when I was turning 60, and just beginning to appreciate the beauty of being an old broad, I read a book titled Fifty on Fifty, in which 50 women over 50 talked about life and aging. .

I was fascinated by the book, and wrote at least one quote in my journal from each of the women. Here are some of my favorites:

And every year I live gives me more time to be awed by the wonders of this revolving ball we live on. — Photo by Pat Bean

“I was an oddity, and it played well.” – Geraldine Laybourne

“As women age, they ultimately all learn the same lesson: The only person I can depend on is me.” – Gloria Allred

“You have to do what feels right.” – Cher

“50 – It’s a time to think about your calling, your passions,” – Hillary Clinton

“Surely the consolation prize of age is finding out few things are worth worrying over, and how many things that we once desired, we don’t want anymore.” – Dorothy Dix

“You can’t wait for someone else to start your engine.” – Phyllis George

“No one with a happy childhood ever amounts to much in this world. They’re so well adjusted, they’re never driven to achieve anything.” — Sue Grafton.

“You will never succeed if you try to please too many people or stand in the middle of the road – there is nothing in the middle of the road but a yellow stripe and a dead possum.” – Marion Hammer

“Life definitely gets better – and as your history gets longer, you only get more interesting.” – Laura Hutton

“In the 10 years I’ve been reading death notices, I have yet to encounter the praise: ‘She maintained her ideal weight.’” – Mary Kay Blakely

“Mistakes are the dues we pay for a full life.” – Sophia Loren

“If you want to make God laugh, tell her your plans.” Anne Lamott.

That last one made me laugh, which may be why Lamott is the author of my favorite book on writing, Bird by Bird.

It’s been 18 years since I wrote these quotes in one of my journals, and they still apply.

Blog pick of the Day. Check it out.

Bean Pat: Potato Pancakes http://tinyurl.com/y9nngaug My grandmother used to make these, and now I’m craving them. I can’t wait to make myself some.

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There's no question but that I'm in the autumn of my life. But then I think the fall is beautiful. Don't you? -- Photo by Pat Bean

There’s no question but that I’m in the autumn of my life. But then I think the fall is beautiful. Don’t you? — Photo by Pat Bean

            The most important thing I can tell you about aging is this: If you really feel that you want to have an off-the-shoulder blouse and some big beads and thong sandals and a dirndl skirt and a magnolia in your hair, do it. Even if you’re wrinkled.” – Maya Angelou

            “Aging has a wonderful beauty and we should have respect for that.” — Eartha Kitt

Just Keep On Keeping On

Early in the day, my good friend Kim, her brother Robert, and his wife Carla, and I decided to visit the Anasazi Ridge petroglyphs near St. George, but it was late in the afternoon before we actually got around to doing so.

anazazi-2          We hadn’t gone far along the trail when I realized I was holding up the other three people, all 20 or more years younger. I had back problems last year that has slowed me down considerably. Anyway, I knew that at the rate we were going, we would never get up to the petroglyph ridge site and back down before dark.

I opted to stop at a pleasant spot along the trail and wait for them. They, being good people, tried to persuade me otherwise, but I was more persuasive, and so they left me behind.

A few years earlier, I would have been upset at my inability to keep up on a hiking trail. In fact, I cried the first time it happened. But the years have been good to me, and I’ve learned that there is always, and in my case I do mean ALWAYS, a silver lining for my slower hiking pace.

More Anasazi Ridge petroglyphs

More Anasazi Ridge petroglyphs

This day, I took some photos of St. George’s rare autumn colors (this was the day after Thanksgiving) and then settled down on a large flat rock and enjoyed my surroundings.

A bit later, a good-looking, grey haired man sauntered down the trail, and stopped to chat with me. It was a pleasant interlude. I’m not so old that I didn’t enjoy his effortless masculinity – and may I never be.

“You know you’re sitting right beside some petroglyphs,” he said, then showed me two spiral stone carvings hidden in a rock crevice. One of the spirals turned clockwise and the other counter-clockwise. “One represents birth, and the other represents death,” he said. We chatted for a bit longer before his long legs sauntered on. I was then eager for my friends to return.

“Did you see the petroglyphs?” I asked, when they finally came into view. They replied that they had. I then smiled, and asked if they wanted to see some more?

“When one door closes, another opens,” said Alexander Graham Bell, who then went on to say that too often we focus so much on the closed door that we fail to see any new openings. Thankfully, I see new doors opening everywhere these days. It’s the reward for the aging of my body that can no longer do the same things it once did, certainly not at the same speed.

Blog pick of the Day. Check it out.

Blog pick of the Day. Check it out.

Bean Pat: Cravesadventure http://tinyurl.com/z9w3bs2 Some good thoughts about one’s hopes for the New Year.

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   “When all of us are acknowledged as the human equals that we really are, there will be no space left for bullying. It will no longer be wrong to choose one thing over another.” – Jason Mraz

Kim Novak, when she was young and fit Americans' standards of beauty.

Kim Novak, when she was young and fit Americans’ standards of beauty.

Soapbox Time

Public judgments of how people dress, what they eat, what they believe, how they act and  how they look, have been bothering me for a long time, like a chigger bite that won’t stop itching.

Most recently, it happened on “Survivor,” of which I’ve long been a fan despite its goal of outwitting and lying to other players. I see that as part of the game. What I don’t see as a game is when one player makes fun of another because they’re not young and beautiful, which one beautiful on-the-outside-but-not-on-the-inside contestant did to another older female contestant in recent weeks.

That’s also exactly what was done by public figures to Kim Novak after her appearance on Oscar night. For crying out loud, why wasn’t she celebrated for being an old broad who was brave enough to appear in public?

Kim Novak today. May I look this good when I'm 81.

Kim Novak today, and in my eyes still beautiful. May I look this good when I’m 81. Heck, I don’t look this good at 75

And by the way, Kim, I say old broad with great respect because I am one — and proud of it.

We Americans are currently fighting, or so we say, to end bullying of young people. At the same time, I daily see  bullying by public figures against those who don’t look like they’re 17, have perfect features and so much money they can afford to never wear the same outfit twice. Did anyone ever hear of the philosophy of role modeling?

Kim, who I think looks fantastic for 81, was taunted with such comments as “she should sue her plastic surgeon.” — How rude!!!!!!!!!! She said she hid herself away for days, but finally decided to call the hurtful judgments by their true name – Bullying.   

            Thank you Kim for being so brave.

How about the rest of us?  Can we tell all the comedians and self-appointed critics that we‘re not laughing anymore?

The Wondering-Wanderer's blog pick of the day.

The Wondering-Wanderer’s blog pick of the day.

Bean Pat: This one’s for you Kim.  “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be  trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” — Steve Jobs

 

 

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I took this sunrise shot while driving across West Texas. At first I hated the power lines that make it look flawed. These days I look at it a bit differently. How about you?  -- Photo by Pat Bean

I took this sunrise shot while driving across West Texas. At first I hated the power lines that make it look flawed. These days I look at it a bit differently. How about you? — Photo by Pat Bean

“It takes a long time to grow young.” – Pablo Picasso

My 75th Birthday

I really never thought about this day, and what it would mean to me.

I spent most of my birthdays living far from kids, and so didn't have to endure them making me look silly. This birthday, however, I'm celebrating with several children and grandchildren, and actually loving it that they do so enjoy making me look silly. -- Photo by D.C. and Cindi Bean.

I spent most of my birthdays living far from kids, and so didn’t have to endure them making me look silly. This birthday, however, I’m celebrating with several children and grandchildren, and actually loving it that they do so enjoy making me look silly. — Photo by D.C. and Cindi Bean.

But now that it’s here, I feel I should give myself a Bean’s Pat for making it.

When I look back, my mind first focuses on all the mistakes I made in life, but then I realize it is because of those mistakes that I have my children, that I learned about empathy, that I discovered the necessity of having priorities in one’s life, and that I truly lived.

Knowing what I know now, which is far less than I want to know but far more than what I knew when I took my first step in life, I would probably make a lot more mistakes because I wouldn’t be afraid of making them.

Yup! Turning 75 isn’t bad at all. Especially when I might still have a few more mistakes in life to make.

The Wondering-Wanderer's blog pick of the day.

The Wondering-Wanderer’s blog pick of the day.

Bean’s Pat: Sun Rise http://garyschollmeier.wordpress.com/  I chose this blog because the sentiment echoes my thoughts this day – and I have watched the sun rise from a small sailboat that I once owned. I eventually had to sell the sailboat because my financial priorities changed, but buying it was not a mistake.

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Every thought you produce, anything you say, any action you do, it bears your signature. — Thich Nhat Han

The beautiful saguaro cactus needs age to become beautiful and grow its arms. It's barely a couple of inches tall at the age of 10 and can be 40 years old before it spouts an arm.  -- Photo by Pat Bean

The beautiful saguaro cactus needs age to become beautiful and grow its arms. It’s barely a couple of inches tall at the age of 10 and can be 40 years old before it spouts an arm. — Photo by Pat Bean

In Fact, I Like Most of It

While I fight against it, and am still active, there’s no denying that age has taken its toll on me. I can no longer hike 20 miles in a day, once again captain my white-water raft as I did from the age of 40 to the age of 60, or carry a great-grandchild on my hip for hours as I did my own children.

Sunsets can be as spectacular as sunrises -- from a different perspective. -- Photo by Pat Bean

Sunsets can be as spectacular as sunrises — from a different perspective. — Photo by Pat Bean

And then there are the little aches and pains as the body loses the glow of youth. The saying that “age isn’t for sissies” is so true it makes me laugh.

But age also has its rewards, ones that let me know I wouldn’t want to be young again. Young for me was full of insecurities, fears that someone wouldn’t like me, inner pressures to be perfect, doubts that I was good enough, and guilt for all the mistakes I made as a parent.

Being an old broad – and don’t call me elderly, I hate that term – having raised five children and being retired from a stressful 10-hour day job putting out a daily newspaper – has given me time to occasionally just sit on my balcony and reflect. Age, and a lifetime of doing, have let me truly come to know who I am.

And thankfully I like that person. I couldn’t say that when I was young.

The Wondering-Wanderer's blog pick of the day.

The Wondering-Wanderer’s blog pick of the day.

Bean’s Pat: Soul Writings http://tinyurl.com/pmjfco7 To give credit where credit is due, this was the blog and quote that inspired my words today. The blogger posts often, but  the writing is always short and uplifting, and the photos that accompany it beautiful and thought-provoking.

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Family Matters

       “Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family.  Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.”  ~Jane Howard

I’m a Blessed Old Broad

My women’s luncheon Wednesday opened my eyes to how blessed I am. There were nine of us, but because of the table configuration, I spent the time primarily talking with three other women.

My grandsons, Patrick, JJ and Tony, giving Gypsy Lee a bath. -- Photo by Pat Bean

My grandsons, Patrick, JJ and Tony, giving Gypsy Lee a bath. — Photo by Pat Bean

They were in the neighborhood of what I call my old broad age, a term I use affectionately and which is an age I’m happy to be enjoying. They, however, were concerned about what this age portends.

I didn’t understand at first, and when Lady A said she had moved from her third floor home because it was too hard carrying groceries and other items up three flights of stairs. I, laughingly said, I used my three local grandsons for the heavy stuff.

But then Lady B mentioned that she had to go into a nursing home, which had been quite traumatizing for her, while recovering from a hip transplant. And Lady C said that would probably be her fate, too, if she became disabled.

All three women, I suddenly realized, were single with no children or other family members still living. It was an unhappy fact the trio had long been aware of, however.

It made me realize how fortunate I had been when I broke my ankle earlier this year. My youngest daughter was there for me, doing my shopping and laundry and taking me to the doctor until I could once again drive and get around on my own.

And what's fun is that I get to do such things as attend Tony and Patrick's band concerts, which I did just this past Thursday.-- Photo by Pat Bean

And what’s fun is that I get to do such things as attend Tony and Patrick’s band concerts, which I did just this past Thursday.– Photo by Pat Bean

I have other children and grandchildren as well, who have made it clear that they will be there for me if I ever need them. I’m an independent cuss and hope I will always be so, but I have to admit that knowing they want to be there for me is comforting.

As ladies A, B and C, who had not known each other before the luncheon, realized what they shared, I became the outsider of the group. This was a fact that was actually noted by one of the ladies as the three women began sharing contact information with each other as part of a newly formed support group.

I was extremely happy that they had found each other, and for the first time in my life glad I didn’t fit in. It didn’t feel at all like what Anne Lamott had described in “Bird by Bird” as that kid standing alone by the fence, which had been me growing up.

 

The Wondering Wanderer's blog pick of the day.

The Wondering Wanderer’s blog pick of the day.

Bean’s Pat: Thar she blows http://tinyurl.com/a9aeoaz This blog has made me want to go back and reread “Moby Dick.

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 “If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.” – Flavia Weedn

Here’s the traditional photo of me at the start of the hike to the top of Angel’s Landing in the background. But this year I chose the less-traveled trail. — Photo by Karen Bean

And I Have No Regrets

For an old broad, I’m in pretty good shape. But not good enough, I accepted this past weekend, to climb to the top of Angel’s Landing.

Instead I chose a path less traveled, and was well rewarded for it.

I said good-bye to my son, Lewis, his wife, and my two grandsons, at the Angel’s Landing trail head. The four of them had met me here in Zion National Park for Mother’s Day, a real treat as I am usually far away from any family members on this day.

I’ve been to the top of Angel’s Landing in Zion about 30 times. It was an April birthday tradition for me. Lewis, when he was younger, accompanied me on several of those occasions. It was an experience he wanted to share this past weekend with his family.

As the four of them turned right, just past the bridge over the Virgin River onto the Angel’s Landing trail, I turned left. My path would take me on a two-mile hike, via the Emerald Pools, back to where I could catch the shuttle and return to my RV to await their return.

My reward for being sensible this day was that I had the first mile of the trail completely to myself. This is a rare treat in Zion these days, as the park has an extremely high visitation rate.

While the view of the river and valley below wasn’t quite as spectacular as the one from atop Angel’s Landing, the peace I felt observing it made up for the difference.

I also, perhaps for the first time in my life, felt at peace with myself in accepting that I no longer could do everything I could once do.

Bean:s Pat: Everyday Wisdom #43 http://tinyurl.com/6nc3lky A great way to slow yourself down and live in the moment.

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